I love weed but I had to quit a week ago i want some now but, I deleted the last dealers number today. I did everthing with weed and told myself that it made me do things better. It was a lie my reason for quitting is so that I don't lose my job and the respect of my wife and children because I smoked so much it seems that all they see me do. I can't go back. my children know I have quit and I made a promise to them that I wouldn't start again. I'm not afraid of relapse but, I would like the process of recovering and starting a new life to speed up. I'm an x gang member with children, a great wife and a pretty good job but, when I'm alone I think of how unhappy quittting made me. If that sounds strange well its how I feel. I do have other activities and projects I can begin to take my mind off but, I did everthing with weed and its now harder to want to do fun things that my children like without getting bored. I feel that I'm a pretty smart guy but, weed took so much of my ambition away its hard to connect with the things I would like to accomplish. I'm an on-the- go person and weed slowed me down so I wouldn't think so much. It also made life seem a bit less serious as I am and uptight serious person when not high. I see that other people are dealing with the same thing. I feel as if I'm getting to old to enjoy life anyother way but again I can't lose my job nore do I want my children to follow my foot steps so I don't have a choice here. I guess thats life and I need to grow up and deal with it. thanks to who ever is out there reading this just needed to vent. My wife headed home from her job so I need to act as if this move was the best thing in the world for me again. This is lonely.