Just this moment given up, partly because I cant get any and feel very anxious, but it comes in waves, mainly when I think I am about to get some. I was fine until the dealer said he was going to be in tonight then he didnt show, leaving a gaping hole. I'm not that bad, I've allready quit drinking 5 years +. I know I can tottaly stop but feel some sort of spiritual connection with it. It like I pray when I'm stoned and feel a real connection to the earth , god whatever it is. Also when I am stoned I find myself getting everything done, just built a room full of furniture , an office and a boat. It also helped me give up drinking , so I feel greatful to it. I dont think I'll ever drink again , thats not the problem, the problem is , its making me do stupid things , ike going and spending £80 , just so I can feel the same for a week. It too dear. I do love the stuff , when it there but when its not , to be honest it not that bad. Its allmost like its so subtle a thing , its worse that Heroine as it keeps you doing it for longer. I dunno , when I have it I'm fine when I'm not having it, i feel like theres a little rat running round inside me chewing my insides out, well its not actually painful , more a tickle, I know if I go and do something I'll want a joint afterwards so I find myself not doing anything in the day when its not there. I've smoked it all the way through bring my son up , and hes great , if I was drinking we could be both dead by now, car crash or worse and I've really got cannabis to thank for that. I would never have given up without it, now I want to give cannabis up but its my last buzz that I do, no E's Trips , Coke, Booze just weed. I find myself so easily thinking, Its allright , dont worry about it, just do it, your not drinking are you. But if I could wave a magic wand and be free of it , I WOULD. or would I , I cant delete the dealer phone number, so ...............