Marijuana and me

[fastidioustrainee]

I started using marijuana just for fun when I was 15, I loved the feeling it gives me, and still do. I started using more and more in the upcoming years. Now I am 25 years old and was smoking usually 3 - 5 grams throughout the day starting right when I woke up. I was always high..... at work, at home, out with friends and everybody knew it and sort of accepted it. A new foreman came from out west and started sneaking up on employees, and I was one of the few guys who got caught with a bong at work. So I was sent home that night from work than the following morning a meeting was held with my employer and the new foreman. I had two options they gave me, sign the contract that stated that I am willing to go do a drug test and that I can accept their help to fight my addiction , or refuse to take the help and never work for them again. So of course I signed the contract and did my drug test (which I know I failed lol) But now I'm forced with a decision to quit marijuana...... or suffer from having a bad reference, and working a minimum wage job which would not support my bills or family ( 2 beautiful little girls and a wife) So long story short its my first day sober in like 9 years and I'll tell you something it really sucks. I miss the taste the smell, the way the smoke moves, everything about it.... BUT I have to quit for my family and my job. I stumbled upon this site and to be honest I was about to cave and smoke but i started reading some forums and it really helps. The worst part about the situation is my love for weed but somehow need to stop loving it

[codiestoner]

hi. it gets easier. i swear to you. i smoked all day, everyday for a long, long time. started at fifteen too and i'm 38 now. i have a post with my story somewhere. i quit fourteen days ago. it was awful at first. i was sweaty, restless legs, no sleep without aid, itchy feeling skin, moody as all h**l, ready to punch anyone who came near me (but didn't). but i knew that if i held on and worked through it, it would get better. i still have vivid dreams, but i actually like them. my hands and feet seem to want to just keep sweating. still...i'm so glad i stopped.

i've been using the serenity prayer as a mantra. not because i'm all about god, but because i believe in the words and i think it contains the best advice that could ever be given. i've been reading and posting on here. i've been working on the underlying issues that made me want to numb myself all day every day. i feel so much better already and my friends notice a total change in me.

if you want it, you can do it. i think you're lucky that your company has this to offer you so i would take the help. i've also been to aa and even though it's not for everyone, it can be helpful to listen to other people tell their stories, whether they involve pot or not.

i wish you the best of luck. keep reading. keep posting. i don't think i'm "safe" or anything...if i smoked now i would be smoking all day every day again. i just finally decided i would like to know what it's like to live life with a clear head.

[green junkie]

hi there, i can totally relate to what your saying. im 30 and been smoking since 15 also, daily since i was 16. im an amateur boxer that competes and ive been trying to quit this shite for the last 4 years while i been boxing. i like to think that generally i dont talk much shite but when it comes to smoking i have to hold my hand up and say im full of crap. ha. ive quit so many times its now a joke. always with good intentions aswell, its amazing how i could be so positive about it only to crumble the next day. i have quit twice in the last few years for 5 weeks and 7 weeks i didnt smoke, and like codiestoner said it gets easier, for me the first two days are terrible, i went on holiday couple months ago and did my rip for a week and the first two days were awful. dont think i smiled for two days, ha. i remember thinkin to myself i feel depressed here. but after a couple days i start to feel much better with my moodiness and short temper and start to smile again. also after a few days im a lot more bubbly and full of beans. motivated to do things. i only wanted to quit for the boxing really, if it wasnt for that i dont think id even want to quit. but also there are other factors why i should be quitting really. like you i have two young daughters 6 and 3 and a girlfriend of 9 years and to be honest it affects them also. my girls dont even know i smoke im a secret smoker ha, but i dont know how long i can keep that up but ive done ok so far, ha. but yeah if were out all day ill defo start to get a bit grumpy, sometimes not maybe but other times maybe too grumpy. i might be keen to get goin soon or summet but really yer just wanna get home and smoke a joint. or times at home when the kids can play out soon after daddys finished ' reading the paper '. not to mention the mood swings my birds put up with over the years its a joke. also the money i spend on the crap. especially with the prices these days ha. i smoked rocky for years but smoked green for about 4 yrs now, i was smoking homegrown for ages and i thought that was bad but been smokin good stuff last few weeks and its killin me ha. gone from one every other day to every fookin day cause now im gettin 1g as opposed to 1.5g homies. so ive got motivation from differant angles now when it just used to be the boxing but i dont know if ill do it. like you a life with no wabs just seems a bit harsh, ha. ive never been one to smoke at work or before, sack that, but after work its the first thing i do when i get home without fail. its amazing how i can be so grumpy and moody but after ten mins outside with a doobie i come in smiling. but havin quit for 5 and 7 weeks i know the positive affect it can have , im like a differant person, a bit silly at times, ha. but just generally full of beans and happy. and not stoned all the time. ive just recently failed, again. i was meant to be boxing in 3 weeks so was meant to be quitting about 3 weeks ago. that didnt happen and ive just had no motivation to get out running or alt, draggin myself to the gym, still smoking,not running. so ive told the coach im not boxing. my heads not on it at all. ive never been fit enough as it is cause of the smoking and im not gonna keep doin it. the thing is i totally believe id do well if i didnt smoke but i just cant quit smoking. i should be able to do 3 rounds easy with all the training but i cant im blowin out my ass every fight. the 3rd rounds a killer, ha. maybe if i smoked fags it might be easier to quit the weed but i never have done i dont like fags at all. (unless with pint of lager) so it be just cold turkey for me, maybe i could get patches to help. but yeah ive failed again, now im not boxing in near future im smoking freely again but i dont know i need to sort this shit out. like i said the moneys comin into it now aswell its not good. if the gf knew how much i spent on it she'd go nuts. but also its not fair really i could think of a lot of things that money could be better spent on. i agree this forum defo does help i enjoy reading and relating to the posts. big hi to codiestoner if yer reading yours was the first post i read, glad to see your doin well . i did try and get my story on a couple times but had trouble with sendin it so been absent for a bit but im back now, hopefully ill find some inspiration from someone, ha. take it easy guys. and ladies.

[robinl555]

Hi Green Junkie,

You've done it before, maybe this time without "white knuckling it" you can do it with some help. Support groups like NA or MA give you that extra push.. intherooms.com has both fellowships and others.
Please give yourself a chance, and please keep posting.

[Unregistered]

These are all great posts, but guys please break them into paragraphs. It's hard on the eyes and if you loose track of where you were reading you become lost.