Hi there. I'm really glad to have found this forum as I have finally decided to stop smoking weed after smoking daily for the last 14 years or so. I'll keep it brief and would be grateful for any helpful hints or just encouragement!
I suppose the problem I've always had with weed is that I don't really have a problem. Though I did use to smoke a hell of a lot more than I do now, for the last 10 years or so, my use has been moderate and controlled. I have a good job (run my own company) and recently qualified as a counsellor. I have a nice house, great boyfriend, lots of good friends, ok family, my finances are fine, health is pretty good (I have colitis but it's in remission now) etc etc. I'm not trying to show off, just making the point that weed hasn't had a hugely negative impact on my life. Though of course I'm not deluded enough to think it hasn't had any negative effect. I've often wondered just how much more I could have achieved if I hadn't been a stoner for so long.
The impetus to stop now has come from the fact that I desperately want kids (I'm nearly 35) and I've finally been lucky enough to find a wonderful man who wants the same thing. But we're both well aware that our chances of conceiving are limited by smoking and obviously I would never smoke whilst pregnant. Nor do I want to ever smoke around my children. My boyfriend's best friends are total pot heads and smoke in the house all the time regardless of whether the kids are there or not (the kids are 2 and 6). Frankly it sickens me and I don't ever want to do that.
I have always been a cigarette smoker too (since 13) but until recently had quit those for about 3 years. I've recently started smoking cigarettes during the day and have really felt the effect on my health and fitness. Before my recent colitis flare, I was super fit, running 8-12 miles a week, swimming, yoga etc etc. My illness put a stop to all that and smoking has made it harder to start again. But I'm well again now and want to get fit again.
So there's my motivation for finally calling it a day. My boyfriend and I are quitting together with our last ever joint being tonight. I've got nicotine patches and am going to use them until I'm ok with the weed. I've actually been fine all day, have felt really good actually. And on the way home I was genuinely excited about my new life. About all the things I'll be able to do now I won't be getting stoned every night.
But I'm also really really really anxious, though I'm not totally sure what about. I think my biggest fear is that I will be bored. I hope that doesn't sound too ridiculous but that's my truth. I don't think I'll have withdrawal symptoms as I don't smoke enough and haven't done when I've stopped in the past. I often said as a justification for smoking that it's a form of self medication for me to stop me being bored. Which is probably mostly bullsh1t but may have a grain of truth in it too. It's hard to be bored when you're stoned and I have a strangely pathological fear of being bored.
I've read a few of the threads already and the advice is useful. Most of it I've already been doing; like thinking of all the positive things that will come from stopping and focussing on those instead of what I am "losing". I think I'm going to be ok and am sure I won't crack and go see my dealer. I am going to throw away (or give away) all my paraphernalia, delete his number and tell my stoner friends that I have stopped and ask them to be supportive, which I am sure they will be. I have a good friend who is also a counsellor and a recovered addict (from crack etc) so he's very understanding and helpful. And my boyfriend and I are stopping together so that's good. I am starting exercise again, including yoga and have started meditating again.
I wonder if what has always drawn me to weed is that I'm a worrier and get quite anxious and worked up about things. I know that's what's drawn me to meditation and yoga, a quest for inner peace (or at least a quieter mind) which I have never really achieved. I also wonder if the weed has made my tendency towards anxiety worse in the long term, though it obviously chills me out at the time!
So I'm not sure what I'm looking for from this forum really. I think it just helps to get my story out there and if any of you have any words of wisdom, I'd really appreciate it.