I am proud to say I am 5 months CLEAN after heavy usage from age 18-23. I felt obligated to come back here to tell people here if you stick with it it will be alright in the end. I do not feel imprisoned by the urge to seek that high. The first month sucked...I thought I had a brain tumor everything was as a lot of people say, 'fake/dreamlike' almost like you are not a participant in reality. I was very anxious during this time, researching every possible illness I thought I had, going to bed at 2-3AM everday, had brain fog, random dizziness, crappy panic attacks, depressed, pessimistic, dreams about aliens, monsters, apocalypses, losing friends man it was terrible!! (I was so anxious at times that I would cry before going to sleep thinking this was it I am somehow going to die in my sleep tonight)...Month 2 was more or less the same but I'd say I experienced 25% less symptoms. Month 3 was when I really noticed the shackles of my addiction loosening themselves. Now month 4-5 I go to sleep at 11PM no problem and I do have very very small anxiety episodes here and there but when I do I keep them under control, I actually experience joy in things that I used to have interest in but lost when I became a herb addict. I have reacquired that positive thinking mentality I lost 4-5 years ago and I am thankful I was able to, I thought I had screwed my brains wiring big time. Oh, I used to also dream of acquiring marijuana in these funky dreams for the first 3 months and haven't had them since, I guess my body as learned to let that urge go. I do not have anymore disturbed out of this world dreams, they are more realistic/low key/pleasant versus being eccentric/chaotic. I truly believe since we bombard our brains with THC it takes awhile for it to reach chemical equilibrium on its own and that's why so many turn back to the herb to comfort the angst (I have officially tried to quit on 8-10 different occasions).
You really have to get to a point where enough is a enough to really want to stop your addiction. I deleted every single dealers number, stopped hanging out with all my loser pothead friends and just kept myself occupied, whether it was exercising, gaming or socializing with non pothead friends. I took B, C vitamins, magnesium, fish oil drank tons and tons of green tea and ate very healthy/exercised (THIS IS VITAL IN MY OPINION). I think that was a major contributing factor to my mental healing as I was flooding my body with all the essential nutrients/antioxidants needed to function at an optimal level and heal instead of THC. There is hope everyone, just STICK with it, TIME heals EVERYTHING. I got to a point where I was about to ask my friend who's friend is a dealer to hook me up with a 20 sac so I could make a brownie...but I didn't as I did not want to be back at square 1 after having been through so sooo much for a couple months, it's month 5 now and as of right now I feel like I am 90% normal versus feeling 30% normal during the 1st month. It feels good and I know I have a tiny bit more before getting to 100% normal, everyday it gets better! I feel good, I feel free, and so can you if you stick with it!!
I will update in the next few months, I almost forgot about this forum but I know others are going through this and I utilized this site and all the other experiences I read to motivate myself that I too can achieve sobriety from Mary Jane.