I'm at the end of my marriage

[Unregistered]

I knew when I met my partner, 8 years ago, that he smoked solid. I never let him smoke it in the house as I already had 2 young children from a previous marriage. That was fine, it was a couple of joints outside per night. It was never a problem and almost 3 yrs ago we got married when our own child was a year and a half old. I had conversations when I was pregnant and he said that he expected that he would give it up when baby was born. She is now off to school in September and he is in his mid forties and the smoking has really stepped up. I keep nagging that I can smell the weed, yes, he has progressed to the strongest form and he says he will stop smoking in the house....Problem is, I am scared of his temper but I know that I must do right by my kids. If I can smell it strongly then my kids must be breathing it in. I want him gone but I am so scared of him and that makes me feel like the worst Mother in the world - they have always come first and I shouldn't feel scared of confronting something that I know is wrong.
He has been physically abusive but not majorly in the past but has really has an effect on my self-confidence to the point where I feel unable to do things that were normal in the past and I am edgy the whole time in my life now. Unfortunately, I am drinking a fair amount in the evening just to calm myself and although I am trying to keep this away from the kids, they are living in a family where Mum does everything and Dad comes in from work as early as he can get away with and retreats to the bedroom where he either sleeps or smokes weed.
I can't do this anymore, as a Mother it's so wrong and I need to be strong.....
Please - If anyone can help me leave this marriage I need to know how.

[Unregistered]

Hi ... My husband as been smoking weed way before we met and he told me it was in is past when we got engaged and I believed him. But for the past 2 1/2 years iv been finding rizzler ppr, filter tips, filter cork,loose tobbaco, n more recently small packets of weed ... When iv confronted him a few times he promised me they weren't his , or that they were old or that he hadn't smoked in ages n that my son n I were the most important to him... He came home stoned n we argued and shouted which was a shock coz hed never done that before ... His parents marriage is a mess n I feel we are going down th same route. Although his parents are amazing and supportive, they are in denial about their son and I feel I should show them all th stuff I have gathered to prove to them how serious this is ... But my husband is otherwise a great guy n a loving father ... But has emotional and communicational issues ... What do I do? Do I give him time n see what he does about this addiction which he refuses to acknowledge? Do I bite the bullet and call our shaky marriage a day? Do I just ignore it and carry on being th obedient but ignored wife??

To th lady whose marriage is breaking ... For the sake of your children if not your own ... You need to get AWAY from your husband!!! You should have left him when he physically abused you!!what are you teaching your children??your husband obviously doesn't care enough about you or your children as he still hasn't quit! Do you want your children growing up thinking it OK to smoke weed?? They will turn out like him if you stay with him any longer. Look into government / women-aid/support groups who can advice you on child support and consider moving cities if you have to ... Your husband is really not worth ruining your childrens lives !!