Hi, I've been smoking pot for a little over a yr now. Just after my youngest was born. During my pregnancy me and my husband split up during which he started smoking pot (I.had previously never "let" him). I was so desperate to have my family back together that I went against everything I believed in and tried pot for the first time at 20. So, I guess I liked it because I started smoking more and me and my husband were getting along great. Then everytime the kids would start to get to me I would go to the barn and take a hit and be completely cool and controlled to take care of the kids. Now I was also in nursing school and all my kids are under 4 so you could say I'm under a ton of stress.
I've just graduated from nursing school and would like to get a job. The drug test is not what I'm worried about, its that I know I can't be the competent nurse I want to be when my brain is fried.
So the problem is that I'm having horrible withdrawal symptoms, you know can't sleep, bad dreams ( this morning I woke up from a dream of a bull chasing me down the halls of a school trying to breed me, wtf?), I'm jittery, I'm shaky, I feel like a crackhead, and I can't control my temper which is off the hook (not good when I have toddlers because all I do is scream which is not beneficial to any of us. On top of that I try to quit when my husband is out of town all week but he comes home and tells me I'm being a ***** and need to smoke.
I really can't go on like this. I've took up exercise, which has helped a little but only short term, if I'm constantly exercising I'm not taking care of my kids. Alcohol did help but I'm scared I'll become an alcoholic (there's a strong family history of that).
Is there anything else that my be beneficial, my kids really don't deserve to have me fly off the handle and the fact that I can't be the person I used to be is depressing me major---maybe that's a symptom too? Please help me get thru this!