week 2, i'm losing control of myself, i'm irritable and violent! need advice please!!

[jimboob]

Today is day 14, I don't really have the urge to smoke but i'm struggling with my withdrawls. My depression, anxiety and irritiability have been ****ing with my head latley, causing my view of the world and how I react to things to be different.

Like I havn't been hanging out with my friends latley, I have no desire to really. I'm also really, really short with my familly. My little brother is like a better version of myself; a me without any my stupid issues.

I envy him, and sometimes he can be a little punk ass and really disrespectful (he's 18, go figure), so he can piss me off somtimes.... I finally lost it though the other day and felt I had to put im in his place. I grabbed him, pushed him, and hit him in the side of the face. Not full force, but fist closed. My mom broke it up and he didn't fight back. I felt horrible immediatly after and apologized. We're good now, but I feel he respects me less because of my lack of control.


I'm even short with my new puppy too. When she doesn't listen and i'm in a bad mood I lose it and get rough with her, which only makes her not trust me and rebel even more.

I feel very, very unstable, and at the end of almost everyday you can find me in the kitchen cramming food down my throat to fill that "empty" feeling that nothing else but weed or sugar would fill.

To be clear I will not lay another hand on my brother or dog again without good reason, but i can't help being really cranky some days. Also sometimes random life-****ups from my past will resurface, like the other day I though about how I didn't go to my childhood friend's dad's funeral and started crying on the way to work.

I just feel really, really crappy and don't know what to do besides gulp up sweets. I exercise plenty, eat healthy and try to sleep enough. I also work and try and stay occupied, but at the end of the day I feel "empty."

I feel like I'm just replacing weed for sugar and it's prolonging my withdrawls and making things worse. Any tips for gaining some ****ing self control???



I almost want to smoke again for the sake of those around me, but I dont want to start all over again...

[Unregistered]

Im your brothers age. I quit for the 2nd time cold turkey a week ago and have no anxiety, depression, or cravings at all this time but last time i tried i was just like you. Whats different this time is all the pros i had from smoking became cons and i got so sick of wasting my life that now im extremely happy and excited now that i feel my head clearing up and im coming back to the real world again. You need to make a pros and cons list for your smoking and have to have a real desire to quit (not saying you don't). You have to miss: the real world, having a clear head, and feeling well rested when you sleep. You need to have dreams and goals you want to acomplish and feel excited and motivated by the very thought of doing so.

You need to accept your past and understand that you were doing the best you can do and your sick and tierd of this rut your in and understand its time to move forward with your life. You have to understand it may not be easy and you have to be quitting because you personally want to. You have to understand that if being around people who take any type of substance is difficult for you right now that you can ask those people to not do it when your with them or talk about it to you and if they refuse tell them their ignoring your nice request to help you so you need to be away from them till your better or just ditch them.

Don't feel bad about struggling or failing cause anyone who is successfull in life fails and fails again and never gives up until they succeed cause they believe in themselfs and love themselfs. Good luck and become a positive person and love yourself. Any emotions you have can ALWAYS be changed.

[BFB]

Hi Jimboob,

What I would say is if any situation has escalated to the stage where it is involving violence then it may be best to seek some kind of professional help.

Take care and please keep us posted,

All the best,