I began smoking the ganj when I was young; I was about 8 years old when I had my first rip. But I never fully got into smoking until my first year of high school. It was more of a weekend thing to kill the boredom with friends and make the day interesting. I got caught by parents my Sophomore year, went cold turkey for about 10 months. Then I found out that my dad was a heavy user as well and that's where my habit came back, I began snaking a bowls worth or two from him and then eventually started buying my own stash again. Towards my Senior year is when I began to get a bit out of control with it, smoking became more important than anything else. I was still able to be productive most of the time and sometimes not. But I graduated with a good GPA!
My first year of college, I chilled out for a bit but relapsed, now I am almost 22 and have wasted 3 years at a community college trying to figure out my life by smoking pot, skipping class, and just wasting too much time. I could've graduated this year but I keep changing my major, ugh!
For the most part I have been smoking the high-grade stuff regularly for two years and started missing classes. My grades turned out fine with subjects I found interesting when I was high and others not so great, but I am glad I am still able to go to school and finish within the next year and a half.
I also noticed I began to withdraw myself from activities I found stimulating, I loss interest in work, friends, skateboarding, schoolwork, and family. I just wanted to be high all the time!
But after my brother passed away recently it hit me hard and every time I smoked, it seemed the worst my mind became when I thought it was actually going to help me. So for the pass 2 weeks I have been cold turkey. It has been a struggle but I am hanging in there, I noticed that sometimes I just lie around and not want to do anything. And I also seem to be very irritable, restless, headaches, depressed, not in touch with reality, and bug the hell out of my girlfriend who lives a state away, I guess I am coping with being alone and the lost of my brother.
I want to smoke again but I tell myself to wait, it'll always be around and there's a time when you just have to give it up for your own well-being.
The hard part is that I have friends that smoke on a daily basis as well and they always seem to want to shlaze me up, but I refuse and I can tell they get a little offended but I know that someday they'll understand. In the meantime I have been running in the mornings trying to regain my lung capacity, eating healthy foods, drinking a lot of water, reading, playing guitar, listening to music, and have gotten back into skateboarding. But throughout the day I have these strange mood-swings which bug the hell out of me, I am and never was like this. And the worst part of it all is that every morning seems like a struggle to get out of bed, all I think about is my girlfriend and my brother. I don't want to scare anybody away as well.
Skateboarding has always been my life since I was 10 but in my area the scene is drawn to pot users and alcoholics, it don't phase me though, it's their lives.
This pass week I have been feeling irritable, short tempered, headaches, body aches, and more mood-swings that I was never aware of, I am never like this. I do my best to keep cool but then again, with my girlfriend living in another state and my older brother passing away it is hard to cope.
But I hope the best for anyone struggling to quit.
Wish me luck as I make my way to week 3, I feel I am slowly getting better, I just want these symptoms to go away soon especially the headaches, but Rome wasn't built in a day so it'll take time. I just want to feel normal again.
I wish you all luck out there as well.