I am a new member who is completing his first night sober.
I have been blazing for about ten years now. Before this time, I'll be honest, I don't really think it has affected my life in any overly negative way. I smoked all through high school and college, made the honor roll in high school and graduated university with a bachelors degree in English.Therefore, all of the doom and gloom predictions about pot,(the whole gateway drug nonsense) never came true for me as I'm sure they don't for most people. However, these last few months since I have gotten my first serious job out of college, I have noticed that my short-term memory is terrible, and sometimes I do simple things incorrectly at my job because I got too stoned the night before and don't remember to check it or review it. I have therefore decided to quit.
However, one thing has puzzled me greatly, why am I addicted to pot in the first place?
Obviously I drink beer. I dont feel like I have ever had a drinking problem. These days I go out maybe once a week and have a few drinks with the guys, nothing too crazy. There have been times when I have gotten really drunk and partied hard. But come the morning after, the thought of drinking makes my stomach hurl. I also smoke tobacco on occasion, a cigar after a fine meal, a cigarette when out at the bar or when work is particularly stressful. But I really don't feel like I'm addicted to tobacco. I can go for weeks, even months without smoking tobacco. I have tried mushrooms a couple times, about four, but haven't done those in three years. I have never tried any hard drugs, I was always too afraid to. Even the red bulls, I used to drink an energy drink every morning. I know I was addicted, due to the physiological symptoms, but I stopped drinking them because I dont think I need them anymore. Coffee is too hard on my stomach so I dont drink it. I have replaced energy drinks with tea in the morning, which was a struggle because I get up at five thirty for work. Therefore, I don't think I have an addictive personality because of the above mentioned, so why do I feel the urge to come home after work every day and launch into outer space with my bong? I don't know what it is about pot, but if there is pot in front of me, I have to smoke it. I have tried to do the casual thing, you know maybe smoke once or twice a week plus weekends, that sort of thing. It just does not work. Like I said, if there is pot in front of me, I cant help but smoke it.
I think it may have to do with consequences. When I drink, the day after I get really hung over, I'm talking the day after is sweats, movie and pizza, IE a complete write off. Sometimes my hangover even stretches into a second day. With tobacco, I'm very health conscious. I read somewhere that the typical cigarette takes about five minutes off your lifespan. This is always running through my head when smoking tobacco. Therefore even when I feel like I need a smoke I can usually successfully fight the urge because I don't want to get cancer or have a heart attack. Caffeine, I only drink very minimal in the form of tea, compared to my extra large can of red bull I used to drink when in college, (sometimes two a day depending on how much studying I had to do) And mushrooms, well I simply cant imagine being able to function even on a basic level if I were to do those on a regular basis.
But then there is pot. We don't believe the doom and gloom predictions about it ruining our life, in fact my youth will be remembered as one of the best times of my life, and I was high on a regular basis. All of the current research tells us that pot is less addictive than the substances mentioned above. One can get high the night before and can still function the day after. There are no real negative physiological consequences with using pot, even on a regular basis. They give it to cancer patients. And it is my personal belief that it should be legalized and taxed. No one deserves a criminal record or prison sentence for smoking However, on a long term biases, it does affect reasoning skills and short term memory. These are things that I need in order to do my job. Therefore I am asking in all the help and support I can get in an effort to quit smoking. I will probably relapse, but that is normal when trying to quit an addiction. Any posts of encouragement or support will be appreciated. And if there is anyone out there who can relate to the above, I would like to hear your story.