Quitting pot and in need for support

[Malpaso]

Hi everyone. I have been tampering off weed bit by bit over the last two weeks until I finished the last of my last (!) stash. It is over now since yesterday night, and today is the first day of absolutely not smoking weed. I have been a heavy cannabis user for the last 18 years and I simply just don't find any fun in smoking weed anymore. All these years I've been building a tower of reasons to stay high on weed, mostly related to all the good medical properties that marijuana has, but I have to admit that other than the occasional back pain I am a very healthy guy, so I guess my only disease that kept me smoking was my addiction issues, and the only way to end that particular disease is quitting pot altogether. To me, just to admit that I have an addiction to weed is a big step, since most of the arguments around this drug surface around it's alleged non-addictive properties. Hell man, I am living proof that weed smoking is a highly addictive thing to do. You first start smoking with college buddies, for kicks and laughs, and over the years you find yourself more and more isolated, searching for the company of the weed itself, making the drug your best mate and companion for every single moment where u are supposed to have a minute for yourself... suddenly you find that you are high all the time, and that other than smoking weed, there is very little sense to life. If this is not addiction, I dunno what addiction is. So, first you admit to yourself you have a problem, then you picture your life for the next five years, as an exercise. If this life picture is happy and successful, you find there is no place for weed anymore. Then you find this forum and read post after post until you are convinced. I know I am. I'm done with it. I've smoked all the weed I possibly could and now the path that follows in my life needs to be sober and clean from thoughts to emotions to every single act in life. I am battling with some urges to smoke right now as I write this, because today is a national holiday in Mexico and I am at home, with hours of leisure ahead before resuming the labor week tomorrow. This idle times were the ones I looked after the most to smoke, so before I tried to go out and score (I deleted the phones of my dealers from my cel phone but I am sure that if I tried hard enough I would be able to get some more weed and get wasted again) I came back to the forum and started writing. I just don't want to smoke weed anymore, I've quit cigarettes two years ago, and the stupid me had a relapse for the last four months since I needed a legal excuse to be smelling like smoke, (see how absurd this conduct is, man, I really need help!) so now I find myself with a huge motivation to quit (cannabis and tobacco, altogether!) some boredom and a lack of endorphins that is making me very anxious.
BTW a friend of mine recommended acupuncture and I will be trying it for the next two hours. I hope this helps. Any ideas, comfort words, or such, are surely welcome...
I want to quit and I need support.
Thanks for this forum, and the opportunity it provides to share... Time to go for acupuncture, I will keep u posted!

[abiogenesis]

Hi Malpaso and welcome to the forum,

There indeed comes a moment in life at which we realize that we have not much but weed in our lives that keep us going. As in your case, I also used to smoke with college buddies, for kicks and laugh, but then as the rest of them went on with their lives, I found my life evolving just around weed, reserved every moment for a potential to smoke, lost all my interest to world out there, just kept smoking more and more weed. For a long time, I also didn't believe that I had an addiction, until I found this forum and saw there are hundreds of other people in the same situation as I was. So, I believe realizing our situation is the biggest step that we can take and you have made this step.

Actually I just wrote some quick tips for someone who is also in day 1 of quitting weed and I guess I could write the same things for you too. You could read my post throught the link: http://www.forummatters.com/forums/s...where-to-start

The main concern of people who wanna quit happens to be this 'frightened withdrawals', but I truely believe that this is not the real issue. Withdrawals, for sure, will go away after some amount of time, but our addiction will stay with us for all our lives. And this is the most important thing that people should realize in my opinion. Addiction is a neurological disorder which is hardwired to our neurological system which will stay there for all our lives and we will always have the potential to relapse. Many people don't take this fact seriously, even after they go through the withdrawals, more than 50 percent of them relapse just because they are not aware of their disease. I am telling you these to give you comfort actually; if it's our lives to be saved, our future, our interest in experiencing the world as it is, our cognitive abilities, our connection to people, our potential to achieve things, i.e.., it's not a big price to live through this healing process during which we will experience withdrawals. I believe it's not staying sober which is the real challenge, it's creating a new life out of it during which we will not need drugs to comfort ourselves.

Anyway..I hope you all the best in your battle, I admire your commitment, please be prepared on the next phases, and eventually you will get there.

Take care,

.

[bishop]

hi malpaso,i to am on day 1,well its 1 oclock in the morning here in the uk,so im nearly on day 2 as i dont think im going to get much sleep tonight! id just like to say that im sat here writing this battling with urges aswell,but like you i just dont want to smoke anymore,so stick at it mate. ps.could you let me know how the acupuncture went.good luck!

[Malpaso]

Thanks Abiogenesis and Bishop for your replies. Your words are a true balsam.

Gotta admit it. Acupuncture sure works. At least this first session did. (The Dr. wants me in for another nine sessions, one each weekday for the next two weeks). During the session I got five needles in my left ear for about 45 min, in a very soothing atmosphere with relaxing music. After a few minutes, I started feeling my urges to smoke wane down, and pretty soon I was on a emotional trip around good memories (pot was NOT a part of them) of past good times. When the Dr. came in and turned the lights on I felt very relaxed indeed. I thought the session had lasted like 15 minutes, so I guess I was on a very deep state of relaxation. The Dr. explained that what I felt was a pure surge of endorphins. I liked it very much. I don't want to smoke right now, I feel calm, and confident in my decision to quit pot. I feel like smoking a cigarette though but I am not gonna give in. I completely agree with Abiogenesis that addiction is a bad wired circuit in my brain, and I know that I will have to fight this battle the rest of my life. I hope that with time, and the right support, this will become easier... so far so good... also, I am very happy to have found this community, since there are very few (if any) weed addiction support groups around here. I guess now is a matter of taking it day by day, and not giving in.
Bishop, if U are struggling like I was with great urges to smoke, I completely recommend acupuncture. At least for me, and for now, it worked!!
I will keep u posted...

[BFB]

Hi Malpaso and welcome.

First of all well done on your decision to quit. Yes I think most of us have been pretty selective in our reading towards the use of our beloved drug of choice, you really can spend a lifetime of reading such stuff there is definitely no shortage of how wonderful everything about it is on the thing we call the web, I guess it’s only when you come somewhere like here and read the other side of the story and the problems some people are having with it that you realize that perhaps it’s not as great as many will have you believe or not for everyone anyhow.

One thing I would like to say is also what I have just said to another member, I will just paste it in here:

“It can be an overwhelming prospect the idea of having to quit something for good, especially when it has become such a big part of your life, as well the excellent advice that has already been given the main thing I would probably advise is to try to change the way that you look at the task that lies ahead, try not to think oh crumbs I can never smoke again this is going to be really hard, but just try to take it one day at a time, try not to worry about getting through the next year or even the next month, but perhaps just focus on staying clean for today, when you do this before you know it, the days have turned into weeks and the weeks into months, etc, it will get easier as time goes by and before you know it it’s is no longer that hard not to do it and just as normal as it was to do it before, it will become your new normality in time, but for now just take it one day at a time.”

As I say it is a big step but just try to be skilful in the way in which you view it and take the baby steps approach, before you know it not doing it will be just as easy. The acupuncture is indeed a great release of endorphins, I know I have felt great the few times I have had it, anyway it sounds like you have got you plan pretty together I am sure you will succeed.

Take care, thanks for posting and please keep us posted on how it goes.

All the best

[Malpaso]

Hi there everyone.
Thanks BFB for your post. I am on day three now, and feeling really good, much more productive and "present" at work, which, by the way, has kept me very busy and I haven't had any spare time to crave pot, which I think is amazing, since just a week ago I would find the way to do nothing at work despite having lots of things to do, and most of time I was counting the minutes for the lunch break to sneak out and have a hit or two from mi hitter, then count the minutes for the end of the workday to get home and get some more hits out of the bong, get wasted and connect the leftovers of my brain to the TV... I have had three acupuncture sessions so far, and I think it is a great tool for anyone that needs some physical relief from the cravings of marijuana withdrawal. I discussed the bad wiring or circuitry on addicted brains with the Dr. and I told him I was a bit scared that now I would be addicted to the surge of endorphins from acupuncture... he laughed hard and told me that in his more than 20 years of practice no one ever became addicted to being poked with needles... I am still afraid that I could become addicted to this endorphins surge, but I am trying -so far without success- to establish a work out routine that could help boost those endorphines in a natural way, and then maybe I wont need the acupuncture anymore.
I am concentrating on taking this day by day, even hour by hour, keeping in mind the wise words of abiogenesis, BFB, and everyone else on the forum... Thank you guys, you are amazing!! I keep thinking how moody and creepy my addiction made me, and I constantly repeat to myself that I don't want to smoke the weed ever again!, and that I am feeling liberated from a energy sucking monkey I had fed for so many years. I remember the post topic that made me log on to the forum (someone retweeted it on my twitter TL) it said: Quitting marijuana is a great feeling! I agree completely.
Yesterday I had a dream after I dunno how long, once I read that when you are smoking cannabis you use much of your dreaming state while being high, and even this dream was a bit nightmarish but I was very happy to dream again! I have smoked a total of five tobacco cigarettes in these three days, and that is also a bit of victory for my addicted self. I know I am just begging this path, and I know that there are a lot of hard times and temptations ahead, but I feel confident and supported. Just for today. Day by day. Thank you guys!
Will keep u posted
Malpaso

[BFB]

Hey Malpaso it sounds like you are doing great keep up the good work!



Take care, thanks for posting and please keep us posted on how it goes.

All the best

[Unregistered]

Hang in their bud! I smoked for 20 years and am on day 9. You can do it, stay strong you will have withdrawls as I am having them as I type this. The little creeps of depressions come and go, I smoked myself into a state of " I am sick of this shit controlling me and am putting my armore up agaisnt this shit and am moving on with my life" attitude. Life to me is about chapters that one goes thru during the process. Pot to me was just one of those chapters to me, not looking back.

One thing I have noticed the last couple days is I get that "spacey" dumb **** syndrome going on at times. I suspect that is coming from the withdrawl symptoms.

Im gonna order p90x soon and sweat the rest of thc outta me!!

[Malpaso]

Hi there everyone.
I am on day 27 without weed, and things couldn't be any better. I feel energized, fresh in mind and spirit, got back to practicing meditation and got back to dreaming... I've had a couple of bad days, specially on idle days, but I've managed so far to stay away from the pot. I have avoided my smoking friends, and got to tell u this feeling of being again in control of my life is great. I am no longer tired, I am in a great mood most of the time, and I've even lost weight since smoking gave me bad munchies that I indulged by eating large amounts of sugars and carbohydrates. Surely acupuncture helped me a lot in the first two weeks, now I only have an occasional cigarette and I am working on quitting those again for good. Just dropped by quickly to thank again to this forum an everyone in it. You guys are an awesome inspiration. My weed-free brain will always be in debt to all of you.
Infinite thanks.
M.

[abiogenesis]

Hi Malpaso,

It's great to see that you are already experiencing such great affects of quiting. Please keep up the good work,

All the best,