Hi all, I'm sitting here at 11:15pm getting ready for another sleepless night, oh joy! Day 2 of quitting after about 20 years of smoking the dreaded but oh so lovely weed. Of course it doesn't really help that my wife is still smoking, in fact I can still smell the last spliff she had half an hour ago.
So I'm sitting here thinking 'how can I lessen my misery?, by subjecting other people to it of course!' So I've decided to share, isn't that nice of me?
While aimlessly wandering the net I found this site, read a few posts and decided to join so that I can come here every night and piss and moan at you all about how horrible I'm feeling HeeHee!
A bit of background, feel free to skip this but if you're going through insomnia as well read on, it might put you to sleep.
As I said, been smoking for about 20 years, quit a few times but always came crawling back after an embarrasingly short time. I have a bi-polar disorder and have always treated pot as self-medication (what a great justification!) Of course it makes me feel better, that's what pot does, and it works a hell of a lot better and quicker than any drugs the shrinks have put me on. But then it has it's bad side doesn't it? We all know the wonderful life sucking qualities of pot so I won't dwell on that. Suffice it say, I've had enough, I'm 42 now and have achieved sod all, not that I blame the pot entirely for that, but it's definitely been a contributing factor. I was a reasonably successful artist until a sudden lurch into the depressive side of bi-polar followed by an increasing dependance on pot to get through the day. And suddenly it's 20 years later, bummer.
Hey look, I can still ramble when I'm not stoned!
So like I said, this is day 2 and I feel like shit, arguing with my wife(badly) and having to put serious effort into not killing anything that comes within range. Not even bothering to go to bed tonight, just going to lie on the sofa and sulk. I'll probably fall asleep at some point which I'm really looking forward to considering the wonderfully macabre dreams I'm bound to have.
That's it for now. I'll be back tomorrow for another fun filled episode, I bet you're looking forward to it already aren't you?
OOps! Long post, sorry tfmtlol! (too fekkin miserable to laugh out loud)