Hi i've never written on a forum before, i came cross this page after a google search and i think i'm in the right place.
My story is not unusual, i am addicted to marijuana, i have been for 16 years. I have no problem admitting that at all, I don't want to be addicted to it. Sometimes i hate it, but most of the time i love it.
I am 29 years of age and I have recently got married, my husband only smokes occasionally, i smoke every day. I don't have a problem with day to day life, i'm not depressed, (although i have suffered with depression in the past) I can cope perfectly well when i have had a joint. I am currently a first year at university, and smoking does not effect my study. In fact i think that i perform most tasks better when i am high.I have kept my addiction a secret from my family, and a lot of my friends.
I realise that all that i have said so far is classic addiction talk. I rationalise my addiction and make it so that it isn't a problem, but it is a problem, a very big problem.
I spend ALL my money on it and i'm ashamed to say that i put weed before anything else, sometimes even my marriage. We do not have children, We have been trying to conceive for nearly three years, i KNOW that i will increase my chances immensely by quitting the weed, but i can't
I have been to my doctor and told them how severe my addiction is, (I smoke around 10 strong joints a night) I was told that there is not really much that is available to me as marijuana is not considered a real addiction.
I have tried cold turkey, i have tried cutting down. All ending in pathetic failure. There was always a reason why i gave in easily.
The best attempt that i have achieved is 12 days. I REALLY want to quit but i have zero will power. My husband is really supportive, and maybe gives in to me a little too easily, because he loves me. But i abuse this love to get more weed. I am ashamed of myself.
I am going to attempt again, and use this site to help me, I am glad of any support, it will be nice to know that others are going through it with me. I have been reading some recent posts, and i wanted to say to everybody who has given up or who is trying to give up, WELL DONE i hope that i can achieve what you people have
Any advice you have will be appreciated, It gives me hope thank you