Almost 1 Year Marijuana Free

[TheDude]

I just wanted to post here since I haven't posted in some time. Next week I will be one year clean from marijuana, along with any other chemical substances, except for caffeine and nicotine.

Marijuana was my drug of choice. But the longer I have been weed free, I have slowly begun to realize over the last year that it isn't so much about the pot: it is about me. Weed just happened to be what I used to deal with life, as others pick their own drugs/behaviors of choice, like alcohol, narcotics, sex, food, you name it.

Personally, if you asked me a year ago if I could stop smoking weed for even a few days, I wouldn't have thought that was possible. It's literally mind boggling that I have been marijuana free this long. But this length of time is rather insignificant, because I have to be mindful from day to day, minute to minute. Once I rest on my laurels, I am dangerous to myself.

I generally used every day, from when I got home from work or school until I went to sleep. I used like this for about 6 years straight, but used pot in varying fashion for about 13 years, and held it very important in my life. And it was great at first: I loved getting high with friends, doing art while high, and listening to music while high.

But somewhere along the way, it caught up with me. No experience was good enough without pot. For nearly the last 6 years, I used by myself mostly, and would lock my doors and not talk to anybody when using. I became afraid of answering my phone or opening my door. I wanted to create the "perfect" reality for myself, and every time before I got high I thought it would be just that, only to be let down yet again: over and over and over. But that's how the vicious cycle happens.

A traumatic fallout happened last year which involved a relationship, and it seemed like hell. I had been spiraling down into bad depression over the last 6 months or so of getting high, but had bouts for years. The using was clearly exacerbating my depression, considering I am already predisposed to it. I hit bottom, and while it seemed like hell a year ago, I would not change a thing. Life, reality, "what is", whatever you want to call it, gave me what I needed, as it always has done. And I haven't realized that for very long.

What I can say is that the only way I have been able to stay clean is to fit healthy action into my life. Quite simply, I cannot "think" my way out of my problems. I have to accept my problems, and work from there to be mindful. If my sobriety wasn't part of an overall greater, healthier change in my life, it simply wouldn't happen.

So I have realized that I don't have to stay clean. I choose to be clean, this very moment.



Mind you, this is not about perfection. To the contrary, it is about being aware of my imperfections. It is all about awareness. It is about taking action, not trying to think my way out of addiction, because that would never work.

I have realized that becoming marijuana free comes down to this: Is it bad enough? I didn't quit because I wanted to, I quit because it was bad enough, and the awareness gained during a few weeks/months clean showed me how bad it really was.

I could go on and on, but stop here to say that I wish all of you the best and you have my good will and compassion. I know it can be difficult, especially with pot because there are so many misconceptions about pot I don't know where to begin.

[BFB]

Hey the dude it’s great to hear from you again, it’s so good to hear how wonderful you are doing thank you so much for coming back and sharing that with us, I am sure it will be a real inspiration to others. Any well done you really have done extremely well and thanks again for coming back and sharing it with us we really do appreciate it.

Take care and good luck with the future.

[Tonka]

That is what I call a great post!!!

[Nakisai]

It is wonderful that you quite pot! I know how hard it is to quite! My ex boyfriend of almost 3 years is a hard core pot user. He started smoking a joint or two a week, then went to smoking 3 times a day. Each time he would smoke about 3-5 bowls from a pipe just to get high. He spent lots of time and money buying expensive smoking equipment like a 300$ vaporizer and making his own home made bongs and pipes.
He didn't want to do anything with me unless it consist of smoking a bowl first. He soon stopped careing about things that he would normally care about. This guy was a really jealous guy and I told him that I was cheating on him (just to see how his reaction or care would be) and he said if it made me happy then I could go right ahead. He is the type of guy that would blow his own head off if I hugged another guy, but at that point he didn't really care.
He spent his last bucks on stuff that had to do with pot. If he didn't have any money, he would beg me to buy it for him. He helped his dad grow and sell pot. He is now getting charged with trafficking, growing, growing in attempt to sell and having an illegal weapon on him.
I told him if he doesn't start doing something with his addiction then I am out the door. If I couldn't except at that point that pot was a big part of his life, a hobby in his eyes, but a life style in all others "trust me" then it wasn't going to work. So when he go busted, I left.

I know that he is still smoking more then ever, even after he got busted and is getting charges. His dad has gone way down because of pot. He can't get a job because of pot, and lost his license because of pot and might be going to jail because of pot. The son (my ex) doesn't care, he will smoke until the cows come home.

It's great you quite. I am proud. Great job my friend!!!!!

[TheDude]

Hey the dude it’s great to hear from you again, it’s so good to hear how wonderful you are doing thank you so much for coming back and sharing that with us, I am sure it will be a real inspiration to others. Any well done you really have done extremely well and thanks again for coming back and sharing it with us we really do appreciate it.

Take care and good luck with the future.

Thank you BFF, I need to post here more often to see how everyone is doing.

And thank you for providing this forum for us pot addicts.

It really is a safe haven for those who want to express themselves and not be attacked by pot smokers/glorifiers. You are doing a great service. Keep up the good work.

[TheDude]

It is wonderful that you quite pot! I know how hard it is to quite! My ex boyfriend of almost 3 years is a hard core pot user. He started smoking a joint or two a week, then went to smoking 3 times a day. Each time he would smoke about 3-5 bowls from a pipe just to get high. He spent lots of time and money buying expensive smoking equipment like a 300$ vaporizer and making his own home made bongs and pipes.
He didn't want to do anything with me unless it consist of smoking a bowl first. He soon stopped careing about things that he would normally care about. This guy was a really jealous guy and I told him that I was cheating on him (just to see how his reaction or care would be) and he said if it made me happy then I could go right ahead. He is the type of guy that would blow his own head off if I hugged another guy, but at that point he didn't really care.
He spent his last bucks on stuff that had to do with pot. If he didn't have any money, he would beg me to buy it for him. He helped his dad grow and sell pot. He is now getting charged with trafficking, growing, growing in attempt to sell and having an illegal weapon on him.
I told him if he doesn't start doing something with his addiction then I am out the door. If I couldn't except at that point that pot was a big part of his life, a hobby in his eyes, but a life style in all others "trust me" then it wasn't going to work. So when he go busted, I left.

I know that he is still smoking more then ever, even after he got busted and is getting charges. His dad has gone way down because of pot. He can't get a job because of pot, and lost his license because of pot and might be going to jail because of pot. The son (my ex) doesn't care, he will smoke until the cows come home.

It's great you quite. I am proud. Great job my friend!!!!!

Nakisai, thank you so much for the support and good wishes. Also, thanks for sharing your experience with us. You obviously knew when to get out of that situation, which shows wisdom and some intuition. Good to know you have taken care of you. We simply can't make anyone quit getting high.

I hope you are doing well. Great job to you too.

[Arcatry09]

I considered it more a "HE WAS A DRUG DEALER NOW HES RESPONSIBLE FOR
THE DEATH OF A 5 YEAR OLD IF YOU DEAL DRUGS OR SUPPORT THOSE WHO DO
BUY BUYING DRUGS YOU ARE ALSO RESPONSIBLE" blah blah type nonsense.

[Spartacus]

The Dude, great post. Very inspiring as I can relate to a lot of what you said. Quitting pot to me now means freedom. I think so much more clearly and am capable of handling life's ups & downs more better. I've doing a lot of reflecting lately about my past and my association with pot, but am looking forward to a brighter future being sober. Sometimes we need to know what we have done in the past in order to move on, change, and grow as individuals just as you have done. Great job and take care

[TheDude]

The Dude, great post. Very inspiring as I can relate to a lot of what you said. Quitting pot to me now means freedom. I think so much more clearly and am capable of handling life's ups & downs more better. I've doing a lot of reflecting lately about my past and my association with pot, but am looking forward to a brighter future being sober. Sometimes we need to know what we have done in the past in order to move on, change, and grow as individuals just as you have done. Great job and take care

Good job with your time free of pot as well! It's freedom for me too. For me, learning that day to day choices affect the bigger picture drastically.

Take care!