Hey everyone, I'm back.
Clearly I "relapsed" (hate that word)
I've posted here numerous times over the last year or so and to be quite honest I cant clearly remember exactly when. I had quit for at least 3 months (memory) and although everything was not near 100% around month 3, I was making strides. Bigtime strides now that I look back.
Anyhow, here I am at 2:44 am typing this thread while I leave for a trip to Frisco in about 5 hours. I havn't done any loads of laundry, nor done the personal preparation for this trip because I've been a mess these last few days. I can't sleep therefore I am a zombie and can't be productive. My gf has been looking towards this trip for a very long time and here I am not even rested having anxiety attacks crying and everything else you all know. Makes me feel like shit. I took an accounting test the other day and none of it made sense. It's like your brain misfires even more without the MJ. Its only been a few days w out and I've managed to mistreat my gf in that time. Just the usual negative type personality that some of us know the MJ brings around.
What did I do once I quit for a few months and almost got straight A's at school? I SMOKED then smoked then smoked then smoked then LOST MY NEW job which I really needed and not mention it was the perfect job for me. I got fired. They didnt like me. That's too bad bc I had a job at one of the nicest restaurants(server) in Newport Beach (OC) making damn good money for a student. They had me sign a 90 day waiver stating that there was a probationary period of that time and could fire me at any point. Lets just say I would wake up high from the night before and was dazed the majority of my time there. Social skills were dismal. Well you get the jist.
I dropped 3 classes this semester. Coincidence? I just delayed getting my degree by a year bc within that time frame they've cut back classes and space is limited.
It seems everytime I go through this its gets worse and worse and worse.
I'm not giving up. I've done it through the hardest phase (i think) just made the mistake of lighting up again to "celebrate" It turned into a 6 month spree
don't give up guys we can do this
i'll be updating frequently